You two probably couldn’t keep your hands off each other when you were dating and on your honeymoon after getting married.According to research that was published in the Journal of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, signs of a healthy relationship include sexual attraction and physical attraction.But how does a partner’s sexual intimacy change as they get older?
According to Jeanne O’Connell, M.D., cofounder of Sylvana Institute for Medical Aesthetics in Frederick, Maryland, it is normal for men to experience a somewhat diminished sex drive as they age.Sexual intimacy begins to decline around the age of 45 and continues to decline with age, according to a review that was published in the Journal of Nurse Practitioners.Changes in hormones and blood flow that come with age are examples of physiological factors at play.Health issues, the inability to orgasm, a lack of confidence in the bedroom, and a decline in the desire to engage in sexual activities in general—regardless of how you feel about your partner—are all potential barriers to sexual intimacy.
You can tell that your husband’s sex drive is beginning to wane, even though you may still be attempting to keep things exciting in the bedroom.First of all, it probably has nothing to do with anything you’ve done differently; however, we completely comprehend the hurt and confusion.Experts believe that your husband may have lost his libido for the following top reasons:
1.His work life might be too much for him.
Probably the first thing that comes to mind when you think of a mistress is another partner.But it could be his job to be the “mistress” who gets all of your man’s attention and affection.”The accolades, money, and ego boost from being regularly praised, or promoted, can be a turn-on,” says neuropsychologist and life coach Sydney Ceruto, Ph.D. “When men are passionately involved with their careers, they can sublimate sexual excitement that would normally be directed toward their wives.”Try having a conversation with your partner about how you can help him balance his work and home lives and how you can set boundaries to keep work out of the bedroom.
2.It’s possible that his testosterone levels are lower.
In the United States, testosterone is one of the most frequently prescribed hormones.A recent review that was published in the journal Urology states that testosterone levels decrease with age as quickly as 0.4% to 2% per year after the age of 30, and that approximately 13% of males suffer from hypogonadism, which is a lack of testosterone production.According to Abraham Morgentaler, M.D., an associate clinical professor of surgery at Harvard Medical School and a urologist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, low testosterone can cause erectile dysfunction in addition to a low libido. Other symptoms of low testosterone include decreased energy, low mood, fatigue, loss of muscle mass, and erectile dysfunction itself.Dr. Morgentaler says that as many as 97% of men with low testosterone levels say it affects how they have sex.Thankfully, the condition can be treated with hormone replacement therapy, stress management, and counseling, according to Mayo Clinic.
3.He might be going through menopause.
What… male?Mayo Clinic says that men’s age-related decline in testosterone levels is referred to as “male menopause,” or “andropause” in medicine.But don’t worry—it won’t be as sudden or intense as the physical changes that women sometimes experience.If Dr. O’Connell used to want to tear off your clothes when you walked in the door, but now he barely notices the new skirt you’re wearing, try not to take it personally.The reason might not be psychological but rather biological.Talk to him about his sexual feelings and needs, as well as yours, rather than closing up.
4.He might be looking for sexual satisfaction in pornography.
In today’s increasingly digitalized world, the ability to upload and watch uncensored internet content naturally leads to the proliferation of pornography.In terms of intimacy, romantic attachment, love for your partner, happiness, commitment, and relationships assessment, researchers at Indiana University and the University of Hawaii found that men who consumed pornographic material were significantly less satisfied with their partners.What might initially be driving them to porn?According to Dr. Ceruto, men who experience loneliness frequently notice a significant decrease in the opportunities for intimate relationships and interactions with other people.
Worse still, addiction to porn can have devastating effects on relationships.According to Les Parrott, Ph.D., a psychologist who lives in Seattle and is the author of Crazy Good Sex, “When porn becomes addictive, a man relies on it to become stimulated instead of relying on his spouse.”Dr. Parrot explains that this is because the neurochemicals (also known as eroto-chemicals) that flood a man’s brain during a porn fix may be as addictive as cocaine.According to him, “studies have demonstrated that porn fuels unrealistic expectations about what sex should be like.”It causes men to be less happy with their partners.Dr. Parrot suggests that if you suspect that your husband is receiving sexual gratification from pornography rather than you, you can resolve the situation by acknowledging the issue, discussing it, and perhaps meeting with a sex therapist for counseling.
5.Because of his lack of sexual drive, he may be anxious.
Erectile dysfunction (ED) men frequently experience problems with premature and delayed ejaculation, which can definitely affect his confidence.Erectile brokenness, early discharge, and postponed discharge could have different causes yet their normal variables — a man’s dissatisfaction, stress and deep-seated insecurities — can close things down physically between you,” Dr. Ceruto says.Behavioral techniques that help control ejaculation are helpful for 95% of men with premature ejaculation, according to WebMD.The majority of treatments for ED include psychological counseling and various medications.
6.He might have a health problem.
For a man, losing sex drive doesn’t just mean issues in the bedroom.According to Phil Nguyen, M.D., an erectile dysfunction specialist with the Boston Medical Group, “His low libido could be a clue to other concerning health problems.”Men’s health can be measured by their penis, and if there are problems there, it could be a sign of larger health problems like diabetes, prostate cancer, or heart disease, he says.According to Dr. Ceruto, diabetes actually hastens men’s sexual decline by as much as 15 years.Even though losing his sex drive doesn’t always mean he has a health problem, it wouldn’t hurt to tell him about your concern so he can ask his doctor any questions.
7.He might be too big.
Yes, weight may be reducing your partner’s desire for intimate relationships.According to a study that was published in the Journal of Education and Health Promotion, “Sexual dysfunctions increased in 43% of women and 31% of men as a result of obesity and a lack of physical activity.”Diabetes and stoutness lessen sexual action,” Dr. Ceruto says. “Intimacy, which is essential to the possibility of having sex, is ruined by large body mass and poor body image.The 100 Year Lifestyle author Eric Plasker, M.D., says that eating healthy foods and exercising both increase endorphins and can make people feel better about themselves.He adds, “People who eat a lot of fattening, greasy, or excessively sugary food may feel tired and sluggish, not sexy.”
8.He might be anxious.
Is it true that job stress or financial worries can affect libido?”Dr. Plasker says that people who are under a lot of stress often lose their sex drive for a while.”It is obvious that you cannot eliminate the cause of his stress or change the color of his investments on the stock charts from red to green; however, you can encourage him to make small changes that will improve both his health and his libido.
9.He might be doing fine by himself.
To put it another way, it’s possible that your partner is having too much fun masturbating rather than sharing it with you.”He literally takes his desire into his own hands because he doesn’t want to negotiate sex,” Dr. Ceruto says.When they are forced to rely on another person to quench their desire, some men experience a profound sense of vulnerability.”Dr. Ceruto explains that as a result, men may masturbate to porn or their own fantasies because it is quick and effective.
It’s also possible that he enjoys himself more when he has his own time.According to Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., an obstetrician and the author of What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex, “if a man is spending a lot of time masturbating, he can become accustomed to a higher, more intense level of sexual stimulation, which is stronger than he can get from the vagina.”As a result, he may eventually find it difficult to enjoy having sex with you.Discuss ways that you and your partner can change things up to make sex more fun for you both.
10.You aren’t showing him enough physical affection.
Even though this point is more about you, it is one of the easiest things you can do to improve your sexual life.Raphael Darvish, M.D., MBA, a doctor in Los Angeles who works for Concierge Medicine, says, “His lack of interest in sex could be because you aren’t showing him enough everyday affection.”She says that having little or no physical contact and not feeling wanted can really hurt a relationship.Give it a shot with a quick hug, kiss, or back rub—it just might work wonders for your sex life.
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